Tomorrow I’m an NFL Guard.
Sitting in front of a computer all day is the dork equivalent to what an NFL lineman must feel like on a Monday morning. Just now my neck started to throb with pain cause I’ve been hunched over my screen like a freakish zombie over a bowl of brains. My eyes hurt like hell cause the damn display brightness was set absurdly low all day, and I just now noticed it cause I’m on the boathouse desk and it’s getting dark. My feet are as big and red as a clowns cause all the blood in my body has drained down to them. My strong hand pinkie keeps jutting out in painful and unnatural ways, and I think my legs stopped working four hours ago. I’m nervous to get up and walk for fear I’ll drop into the pond and sink to the bottom like a lead brick. The whole scene makes for an unattractive picture to be sure. I’d be keen to start up a dork marathon. None of this knowledge based bull-crap either, just a simply test of endurance. Who can last the longest without water, food, or company while maintaining a constant state of internet input. Once you tip over and fall to the floor in a heap of pale flesh and regret you’re disqualified. The winner gets a vacation to NORAD.
Further Reading
So Sorry
But comments are currently disabled while I work out some bugs and explore the feasibility and wisdom of implementing the Intense Debate comment system. I apologize for being a buzzkill, but they'll be back up soon. You can always contact me if your about to burst with a classic riposte or feel a pressing need to reach me.
