The Twins McGuffin of Quaintly Forest
The fraternal twins, Bezo and Sparkle McGuffin, lived under primitive persuasions and a rusty tin roof in the middle of Quaintly Forest, far away from the din and dust of modern humanity. The tin roof protected their innocence and a one room straw hut, build by their granddaddy, Poppy Patchouli, during the Great Migration of 1908. The siblings were born in the hut, raised in the hut and didn’t venture far from its rustic grace. They rose with the dawn and set in accordance with the sun, spending their melodic days tending to plants, playing hide and seek and watching Lullaby Creek ripple through the woods. Occasionally they’d engage in a friendly game of Pooh Sticks or lie in the raspberry patch and watch an organic sky roll by.
One Fall morning, Bezo returned home after a meandering stroll through the forest with news of the outside. His sister listen, immobile in her wonder, as he recounted how he spotted a Star Buck growing east of Cellador Fork and how he mustered the courage to break the seal and how once inside he discovered the most wondrous liquid, the color of bark and broken earth. Sparkle couldn’t contain her infant curiosity so they returned together, to the Star Bucks east of Cellador Fork.
From that day forward Bezo and Sparkle frequented the Star Buck, drinking earthen liquid and giggling between nibbles of pompous treats. A few months later a Wall Mart appeared next to their liquid palace. Oh and the beauty of its guts entranced the Twins McGuffin. For inside, on shelves tickling the heavens, sat dated objects of imagination and fables. Bezo and Sparkle spent hours upon hours strolling the Wall Mart’s byzantine halls sipping their hot Star Buck’s love. At each turn they discovered a new and godly want, on every shelf a bold and baying need. Cheeks flush and plump, Bezo and Sparkle prance around the Wall Mart intoxicated with lust and manufactured desire.
Within months of their discoveries, their one room, tin roof, straw hut home became a two story, vinyl siding, ranch house, fat and soft. Their plants replaced by a well manicured, Kentucky Blue grass lawn, flat and square. Bezo married an Islamic women from town. Two kids and a job at Lufkin, Lufkin and Parkinson’s soon followed. He prayed to paper and time and developed an obsessed with the manipulation of numbers. Sparkle become a Republican and howled at the moon. She joined the PTA, developed an addiction to Ritalin and frequented Tupperware parties. A Fundamental Lord developed a crush on her. Strife, heartbreak, family values inverted and bent. Bezo kissed his sister goodbye. She wiped her lips with a linen napkin and spat a curse. Straw huts and quaint notions tremble and weep. Days gone by, grow, grow, grow. Sparkle wants a new dishwasher the color of aluminum. Bezo needs a political favor.
Further Reading
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