The Markup on Dildos is 600 Percent

Any article that contains linguistic nuggets like “the markup on dildos is 600%” and “Former Ventriloquist Ted Marche, 53… opened a small dildo factory in North Hollywood” is worth the attention, but what I particularly liked about The Porno Plague, a Times Magazine article from April 5th, 1976, is the ending.

But if the porn industry finds no limits, it could perhaps reawaken the American taste for censorship. The very thought is anathema to most Americans. The danger is that it may be found more supportable than the worst conceivable outcome of the porno plague: a brutalizing of the American psyche that turns U.S. society into the world portrayed in A Clockwork Orange.

Luckily for us all this has not happened yet, but I find the author’s lack of imagination a bummer. If you’re searching for a worst conceivable outcome you’ve effectively removed all practical limits and sensible considerations. Any serious author can’t leave themselves such an opening only to throw down a lame one handed movie reference jam.

You gotta think big. You gotta be bold. The worst conceivable outcome of porn gone wild has to include the unimaginable like, say, a black President, and legalized gay marriage, and lesbian talk show hosts.

November 20 2008 09:18:07 PM EST