Peacock Vampires and Other Sultry Tales

Seems a peacock visited a few folks hanging around a Staten Island Burger King Parking Lot. Like most kind hearted folks would, they began feeding the beauty saturated fries and small chunks of tainted burger. The tender moment quickly melted into a surrealistic freak show when Blade the Peacock Hunter suddenly bum rushed the fowl beast, sucker punched it, grabbed it by the neck, and started stomping the crap out of stunned animal.

When someone peeled back the horror and asked, you know, “why”, he proclaimed he was “killing a vampire.” The young male (is there any doubt this act is one only a man would engage in) ran away when the Coppers showed up, which displays a sense of right and wrong, and an awareness of consequences, so maybe he wasn’t nuts. Maybe it was a vampire.

In other news, in order to pay for college a teenager is allegedly selling her virginity for £10,000. This has been attempted before of course, though for less selfish reasons. I’ve always thought marketing was a bit like prostitution myself.

Suppose this tale is prime fodder for the moralistic mafia, and one could digress into a diatribe on the subtler points of capitalistic oppression, but as I see it, in America at least, matters of right and wrong are dependent on three things: time, geography and, these days, lawyers. Or, in other words, there is no Universal Right and Wrong. We’re making it all up, albeit haphazardly, unconsciously, viciously, and without much humor.

I know there’s some folks who think the apparent unraveling of our ethics and morals necessitates a “return” to more “traditional” values. I can sympathize. There are days when I think we’re circling the drain also. However, changing morals and values are an indication of growth, not regression. I’d argue that the tepid state of humanity is not a problem of abandoning our morals and values, but of not examining and changing them fast enough. Another time perhaps.

July 04 2007 06:42:49 AM EDT