One Sentence to Justify It All

So I use this on myself a lot. Like right now I want a beer. I want to pour myself a pint of Guinness. But, you know, it’s ten in the morning. Seems a bit early. Beer at ten? I’m not so sure about this one. Isn’t there like a noon rule or something, like, your liver leaps outta your throat and flops around on the floor if you consume any alcohol before noon. I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere. And it sounds awful. I like my liver.

So I hem and haw for a few seconds, which is all the room the mind needs to start concocting various loose change arguments and digressions. But I’ve learned a little. I box out the mind chatter with the following statement, paraphrased cause it can change, but the result is always the same - “What are you curing cancer or something. Jesus, have the fucking - insert what you want -.

Now obviously overuse of this method will result in one becoming a poor excuse for a functioning adult. It’s too late for me. I’m drinking the beer at the moment, but I mention it cause the world doesn’t really need any more laggards.

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