Nature Is So Old School

Excuse me while I regurgitate some anger, profanity will follow…

Much has been made over the chainsaw Swinging John Bolton took to the draft proposal for the U.N.’s World Summit in September. Quick context, in the UN’s own words,

“The 2005 World Summit,to be held from 14 to 16 September at United Nations Headquarters in New York,is expected to bring together more than 170 Heads of State and Government: the largest gathering of world leaders in history. It is a once-in-a-generation opportunity to take bold decisions in the areas of development, security, human rights and reform of the United Nations. (see here for general overview)

In advance of the meeting a draft proposal was created basically so everyone wouldn’t show up and bitch about random shit. They’ll bitch anyway, but the draft proposal serves as a template from which to begin the bitching. Focused bitching as it is. And it’s this draft in question that Bolton ripped through, objecting to just about everything but the “we are gathered here” beginning.

I recommend you check out this Guardian article about the U.S. objections. About half way down it does a splendid job of highlighting the specific text that the U.S. wanted changed or deleted. Very informative. Words like disarmament, corporate responsibility, shit like that. Worth a few moments of your time.

Of course, you gotta expect some disagreement when you toss together hundreds of spit shined politicos used to getting what they want. But here’s how insanely absurd Bolton’s objections were;

The draft lined up a seemingly benign list of core international values everyone could embrace. Here they are,

“respect for human rights and human dignity, freedom, equality, solidarity, tolerance, respect for nature, the rule of law, shared responsibility, multilateralism, and non resort to the threat or use of force…” (see here for the full draft)

Sounds good right? See anything you’d care to omit? We all need ideals to aspire to and these are about as good as they get as I see it. Wish the story could end here, “and they lived happily ever after,” but apparently one of these principles is so nefarious, so mouth wateringly vile, that the U.S. felt the need to strike it permanently from the record. Was it tolerance? Solidarity? Non resort to threat or use of force? Nope, nope, and nope, the offending value would be none other than that pagan and unholiest of principles “respect for nature.”

Bolton couldn’t take it. Wanted everyone to know that the United States of America does not, and will not, tolerate an insidious and, quite frankly, utterly ludicrous value like “respect for nature.”

Why? Well here’s why if you must now you frickin’ tree huggin, monkey wrenchin’, pampered, patchouli wearing, prick, because,

“it’s too broad a subject, and if we had to define the multiple ways the U.S. government respects nature, the document would be too long and way off its original intent.”

Of course, no one’s asking us to define the multiple ways the U.S. government respects nature any more than they’re asking us or any of the other nations to do the same for respect rule of law or human dignity. It’s a statement of values egg heads, not a enumerated list of causations. You’re saying you object to an intent it doesn’t even profess to have. It’s as absurd as objecting in court to your client stating him name because you think it may incriminate him. And if we were to take a gander at the list again you’d notice respect for nature is a tad less broad than “freedom” or “equality.” At least it has a preposition. But that’s almost besides the point. The whole list is broad. That’s the fucking point and if that’s how you really felt then you’d object to the whole thing, not just one particular item.

I just don’t get it. How far do we have to go to remove beyond any doubt that our country just doesn’t give a shit. We play by our own rules. Hell, we make the fucking rules. Don’t like it, eat shit and die. I mean how else do you interpret this? Respect for nature man. Nature’s the reason we exist ass fucks.

And I’m not saying we don’t have the right to object to language we may find unacceptable. Reserve that right. I’m all for it. What I’m saying is it’s a fucking respect for nature. You can’t find it in yourself to wave that banner then we’re in a shit storm of pain. That’s what I’m saying.

August 28 2005 11:36:00 AM EDT