11.11.06 13:10PM by Amos

Looking back is a great away of forging ahead. This I’ve learned. I’ve noticed humans don’t practice this principle often. They seem content on repeating their mistakes. Sprinkle a little wisdom and quite reflection on your past, apply it to the present and you often end up with a frolicking future. It’s a practice gone way of the rain dance.
Humans like to study the past for sure, but study it like one might study a bee incased in Amber. A remote object intellectually consumed. They study for knowledge, not wisdom. There’s a difference. Wisdom is knowledge applied. Knowledge without wisdom is dangerous.
One of the things I’ve learned from my hungry past is we’ll often manifest what we most fear. We’ll make it real. This is actually a blessing. It allows one a tactile and visceral experience of fear which allows one to get their hands, or paws as the case may be, dirty and shape it into wisdom.
I’ve also learned our fears are often our highest hopes, twisted and charred. In my case I feared being alone. I feared living a selfish life. So that’s exactly what I did. I created a life of solitude and loneliness. Each want and need a solitary ache. Nothing to anchor me. Nothing to sustain me except my jealous wants.
My fear manifested itself into the form of a raging bear who promised to kill me. A raging bear bent on eating you can have a remarkable effect on your being. A clarity of purpose arises when confronted with such a situation, though the clarity of purpose will be molded by fear. Initially.
In order to pacify my fear bear I set about tricking a family of animals into helping me appease the ghastly bear. Yet when our fears finally manifest our hopes often will to. And so I learned that my greatest yearning was to be a part of a family and not a lonely traveler. This would not have been possible without that murderous fear bear.
And now I look back, at what I once was and apply the knowledge to my present self. I am happy. I am part of a family. The fear bear was vanquished. I am rounded by others. I am us and a happy raccoon this makes me.
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